Reid's Vote for President...

Reid and his friends will vote someday... not just as a privilege but as a right

 

About 16 years from now... on the eve of the election of 2028 I fully anticipate sitting in our living room having a good discussion with Reid about the candidates before us and the policies and laws he will have a hand in casting a vote for. It will be his first of many elections he will be able to take part in. There isn't any reason why he will not be able to vote, or any reason he will not be able to understand the principles and agenda each candidate stands for. I also anticipate proudly driving him to the voting booth if he isn't able to drive himself... and standing outside waiting for him extremely proud of him. I anticipate Reid getting a kick out of this experience and being fully passionate about whoever his candidate of choice is...

But for now.... my smarty pants is only 5 and on the eve of this election 2012 he tells me he is the best candidacy choice and that if he was elected president he would... well, play with his buddy Daniel A.!

 

Unfortunately tomorrow there are going to be some friends with intellectual disabilities that may be given a hard time when they show up to vote... I hope not, but if they do I hope they are armed with the information below:

 

.................................

 

You do have the right to vote! If you are a person with a mental disability and understand what it means to vote, federal law protects your right to vote. The laws that protect that right: The Constitution and the Americans with Disabilities Act, 42 U.S.C. § 12132; Doe v. Rowe, 156 F.Supp.2d 35 (D.Me.2001).

You have the right to get help from a person you choose. If you can’t read or need help voting because of your disability, you can have someone help you vote. You can bring a friend, family member or someone else you trust to help you. You can ask the poll worker to help you if you didn’t bring anyone with you. The law that gives you that right: The Voting Rights Act, 42 U.S.C. §§1973aa-6; The Americans with Disabilities Act, 42 U.S.C. § 12132 

If you have a problem, you can get help by calling 1-866-OUR-VOTE Lawyers are available to give voters with disabilities and other voters advice and help with voting problems, so call 1-866-OUR-VOTE (1-866-687-8683). The law says everyone gets to cast a ballot, so don’t leave without voting!

Even if someone says you cannot vote, the law says the poll worker must allow you to vote a special ballot called a Provisional Ballot. Later, an election worker will decide whether you are allowed to vote in the election. If you are, your vote will be counted. The law that gives you that right: The Help America Vote Act, 42 U.S.C. § 15482

For more information about the rights of voters with disabilities visit http://www.ndrn.org/

Why I Write...

Well, I checked my stats tonight and I have written, three... gulp, 3 posts so far in 2012. That's not so good. Have a lost my mojo?? Not so much... just got pulled under with this thing called life. I've wanted to come back... wanted to write... have actually had lots on my heart to write about, particularly with Reid transitioning to a general ed kindergarten this fall and all that brought us to that crossroad.... but my blog laid silent most of the year... and needed to I suppose for a bit. I don't like fast and furious in my life... I like slow and steady much better and in order to try and pull in the reigns a bit when life felt like it was speeding up much too fast I decided to set aside a few things... and my cherished blog was one that needed to take a back seat. But... my fingers have been itching to type and my heart and head have been housing stories I've wanted to share... 

And yes...I know this is totally vain but I really truly think that the fact that my blog was still stuck in Christmas mode the whole year through bothered me to the point of well, silence. But weeks have a funny way of turning into months...and well, we are now 7 weeks away from Christmas... and the fact that in the last 24 hours I have purchased 3 Christmas presents as well as the wreath below... well, I deem the background appropriate enough to say, "You're close enough to Christmas sistah... hold your head up high and type away!".

So type away I will... and what the end result of tonight's typing will be I am not at this moment sure of, except that I know that I have been wanting to write about a question I was asked recently....
A few weeks ago I was asked by a new friend, who also has a sweet son with Down syndrome... "Why do you write?" as in my blog.
I type my answer here maybe even more as a reflection for myself than it is meant to be informative in this space... but here is my answer;
My dad lives out of state, so when Reid was born I called him from my hospital bed to tell him the news. I remember clutching to that phone needing to hear his voice on the other end, I needed to hear my own parent tell me it was going to be okay, which he did but just as speedily as those words came off his lips so were the words, "Are you ready to write kiddo?". I cried and told him that this, Down syndrome, was not what I had ever envisioned myself writing about. He knows my secret passion to write because we both share the bug~ his to write a novel and mine children's books. But, he encouraged me to write, about this, Down syndrome. I filed it in my head not knowing what I would ever do with that comment, but filed it knowing it was a special exchange between the two of us.
About 6 months later I stumbled upon a site that fed blogs through it... all of these blogs were written by family members who had a child with Down syndrome. What??.. I could hardly believe it. Night after night once the boys were in bed I would scour the site and all the blogs and read post after post of families just. doing. life. And... they were happy. Life did not end for them. The theme I began to see in all of them was that Down syndrome was a non issue, it was a blessing to them, it was what molded them into better versions of themselves... and it was fuel to my soul. Truly... the idea that I could peer into someone's life and see how they were doing life along this new journey I was on was so helpful to me. I gleaned resources on top of encouragement, and began to put into focus my philosophy of raising a child with special needs. I could feel myself taking a little of this and a little of that from each site and each family.... without them even knowing it because they were right there- on the internet- for me to learn from. I. am. so. grateful. for those blogs in the early years. And then as crazy as it sounds... many of those strangers I gleaned from in the beginning... have become friends along this road. People I feel invested in, people I never would have met had it not been for this extra little chromosome that our children share. I need this connection with others who also have a child with Down syndrome as much as I need the connection with my childhood friends, and other close friends I've made in my life. 
That... that's why I write. To connect. And... if there is a family that stumbles upon my blog that is new on this journey and can see the same thing I saw in others.... that we are happy, that we love our boys to the moon and back, that Down syndrome does not define our youngest son- that he is more like his brother and his friends than not- that we are not sad anymore that he has Down syndrome- that we feel so incredibly blessed... then I say thank you to those who came before me and showed me the beauty of writing and sharing so that others might get their legs about them like I did. 
"Yeah Dad, I'm ready to write...."
...and as for what my little men have been up to while my blog has laid silent, here is a snippet... 

Their first puppy

Best Buddies Friendship Walk 

Preschool Graduation

All Star baseball

Summer fun

First Day of School~ Kindergarten and 5th Grade

Robert H. Goddard and his superhero sidekick

...and just today~ Mummified at a birthday party

 That wreath up top I bought today?... bought from a friend on the other side of the US who I met via her blog when she was still pregnant with her sweet Bennett, who also sports an extra chromosome. Thanks to her writing, I got to celebrate his birth and pray for him when he was going into heart surgery months later. I love this little thing called writing connecting.

ONE Thing I Would Want to Share...

October was Down Syndrome Awareness Month. I usually participate in trying to blog each day of the month in October but this year.... I did not blog as I have in previous years (you can click on any of these years 2008, 2009, 2010 to find previous Down syndrome Awareness posts if you'd like).


However, if there was ONE thing I would want to share ...to bring awareness to, is that if any one of us were to hop in a plane...fly a little over half a day away.... we would step foot backwards in time in terms of acceptance for a child like my son. My son Reid would have no place in many eastern European countries. He would be tossed aside as worthless. He would be sent away right after birth to an orphanage where his outlook would be grim and no one to love him. If I tried to keep my son I would be ostracized by my community. His only hope would be to be adopted, and if that did not occur by the time he was 4 he would be sent to an institution where his care would be even grimmer. I have seen videos of such institutions and been just gutted by what I saw.... and because my brain cannot fathom that type of treatment I rationalized that that must not be true...or that only happens in very few places and they must be 3rd world countries... but the truth is it does happen, in fact there is a family trying to adopt a little girl from one of these institutions right now who is 9 years old....and she weighs 10 pounds. TEN POUNDS. My heart and head cannot comprehend that. Why??.... because she was born with an extra chromosome, like my son. THAT. IS. SO. WRONG. ....How can they not know that is wrong? How can they not see the beauty in these precious children?
There is a mom here in the US who after her son Reece was born with Down syndrome learned of the tragedy I wrote of above.... and she was moved to action, because these children just like her son...just like my son, deserve so much more. She started a non profit organization called Reece's Rainbow that helps raise funds for families who are wanting to adopt these children...to re-write their life story, to give them a home to call their own and a family to love them and show them they are valued and precious. In five years Reece's Rainbow has helped over 500 children find their Forever Families... unbelievable, I am so grateful she followed her heart to help make a difference!! Here in the United States there are waiting lists to adopt children born with Down syndrome, thank you USA for getting it, for valuing life...but for our little friends oceans away it is not the same, they do not have people in their country waiting to adopt them.... and they need our help.
Reece's Rainbow is kicking off their annual Christmas Angel Tree Fundraiser, where they raise money to go directly into the children's adoption funds. When you donate $35 or more, you will recieve a beautiful photo ornament of your sponsored child to hang on your tree. This is a very special way to "share Christmas" with an orphaned child. The goal is to help raise at least $1,000 for each child. Click here to see the faces of these precious little ones needing our help, waiting for their "Forever Families" and watch their funds grow as we together raise awareness of this tremendous need.

How incredible to be able to make a donation that LITERALLY will help save a life. ...And what a great message to share with your children.

Please consider sharing about Reece's Rainbow and The Christmas Angel Tree Fundraiser if you have a blog, or on facebook..... you never know just how far your efforts could go, you may know someone who can make an incredible difference in one or more of these children's lives. 

Can you imagine my Reid in an orphanage? It is so unfathomable to me.... 





Grab This!

"The Class List" ...What If A Child with Special Needs Is In Your Child's Class?....

This post is something that has been rattling around in my head for the last week....

For the last week I have been thinking about "The Class List...."
It is almost time for school to resume...all the back to school commercials are playing round the clock, new clothes and backpacks and folders are being bought...and the ever exciting day that the "class lists" will be posted up on the office windows are soon to arrive. I don't know about you but I LOVED that day...COULDN'T wait for that day. I'd roller skate up to the school to check out the lists and hope that at least one bestie was in the same class as me...then I'd dream of what the new school year would hold.
The class list held a lot of weight as to what kind of year it would be for a kid... Spot the school bully on your list? Well, you knew you'd have to watch your back.... Spot the booger picker? You made a mental note to sit on the far side of the room away from them... Spot the cute kid you'd had a secret crush on on the list? ...You went home to spiff up your wardrobe. Yes indeed, it held a lot of weight, that class list.
But, WHAT IF you were a parent standing there next to your child scanning the lists with them and you notice a name...and know it to be of a child with special needs. What would your initial thoughts be? ..I'm talking your true, honest, quiet thoughts in your head that you might not share out...

Would it be, "Good for them for "Fully Including" their child"?
Would it be, "I think this is good, my child will learn from this experience".
Would it be, "Oh yay, we love __insert child's name___!"

Or would it be......

"This is terrible, kids with special needs belong in special ed classes!"
"Having this child in class is going to rob my child of their education because the teacher is going to have to spend so much attention on them!"
"I'm going to complain, I don't want that kid in class with my kid!"

One if not all three of those last responses belong to an entire group of parents in the next county over from me. A few years ago there was a situation where a little girl with Down syndrome was going to be fully included into one of the kindergarten classes on campus. "Fully Included" means she would school the entire day in a "general education" class from beginning to end just like everyone else assigned to that class...whereas if someone were to be "Mainstreamed" that means that for part of their day they would mainstream into the general ed class setting say for art or science or some subject but the remainder of their day would be with a special ed class. At any rate....this little girl was going to be fully included into the kindergarten classroom... and she showed up on the "class list".
In response, the parents of the children who would also be in that classroom were upset....felt their child's education was going to be harmed and started a petition NOT to have her allowed in their child's class. This is seriously what happened, parent after parent signed their name to that petition... just down the road from me a hop and a skip and just a few years ago. The school got the petition, the school buckled under the pressure....and the parent had to fight for her to stay on that class list. Her parents had to take it to the district level, argue their case, and remind them that their daughter had a legal right to school in that class. Their point was made and the little girl was allowed to remain in that class.
As I type... I can just imagine that confrontation this family had to face with essentially their own "neighbors" in the neighborhood who were rejecting their child.... I would feel so kicked in the gut by my community. I am proud of the little girl's parents for holding their head high and fighting for what was right for their daughter. In the end, the family did not start her in that particular kindergarten...where her parents would need to stand shoulder to shoulder at drop off and pick up each day with all the parents who signed the petition not to allow their child in class... They fought their fight, made their point, and then enrolled their child at a different school where she was embraced. I can't say I blame them under the circumstance.
Grown adults can be cruel, we can be uninformed, we can hold onto harmful biases, we can be arrogant and seclusive and insensitive. ....and sometimes we don't even realize we are being this way.

For those of you thinking... maybe those "petition" parents were right...maybe she would of robbed the other kids of their education". My response would be.... "Where is the evidence of that?"...they never gave the little girl the chance to prove her abilities...she was shot down because of unfounded parental fears before she even got to start her first day of school. In many cases children who are Fully Included are given full time aides beginning in kindergarten, so had she needed extra assistance she would have had her aide. This little girl would not have robbed anyone's child of their education. The thing however that most certainly was robbed was for the opportunity for "their" children to learn about acceptance and compassion and differences in a very real way..lessons that cannot be taught from a text book the way loving and accepting a peer would.
What about the response... "Kids with special needs belong in special ed classes?" My response would be, "Not necessarily, depends on the child and the child's needs...". To say they should ONLY be in special ed classes would be putting a child in a box and dare I make the comparison would be like me telling you your tall, skinny kid belongs only on the basketball team. What if baseball was actually a better fit for him, far be it from me to deny him that....nor the room to allow him to grow in that sport. There are beautiful special education classes and there are beautiful general education classes with teachers who welcome working with a child with special needs. Each special needs child has different needs and believe me, parents think long and hard about the choices for their child's education..... and those decisions are best placed in the hands of the parents who know their child best and the team of specialists and school administrators who form his/her team....not insensitive petition signing parents, that's for sure.
Why do parents choose to Fully Include? ....Sometimes it is because they feel their child would benefit from the role models their "typically developing peers" would be for them, sometimes it is because they feel their child can learn right along with the other children (and they can), sometimes it is because they feel that the high expectations that would be held for that child would motivate them to reach beyond their limitations, sometimes it is because their typically developing peers would be hugely beneficial for them in regards to speech modeling or perhaps even social modeling.

So, we take that step for our child and hope that we are not met with parents who respond as the group I had mentioned above. And as we stand there shoulder to shoulder at pick up and drop off and we see parents smile lovingly at our child... or they comment about how glad they are that our child is in class with their child... or comment on how well they did something.... or reassure you when a naughty incident happens that all kids have naughty moments.... I cannot even begin to tell you how much those words mean, truly....... they. mean. so. much!
So IF a child with special needs does indeed end up on your child's class list and you have reservations about it.... please watch and see, you just may be surprised, your pre-conceived ideas just might change.... and the words of encouragement you might even find yourself sharing with the child's parent... will make you both feel great. And... if all those things just mentioned do occur, well then I hope your child ends up on MY child's "class list"!


** Disclaimer: Sometimes, we as parents feel that mainstreaming might be better for our child, or it might be better for our child to school solely in a special ed class..... all those options are beautiful options if and when it is the right fit for our child, and we'll know when it is. I don't want anyone to get the impression that I am saying we as special needs parents are failing if we choose not to "Fully Include", that is not what I am saying or how I feel at all.