"I Five.... Today

Today Reid would tell you.... "I five!" if you asked him.

Actually we were at the park today with some friends and I told Reid to tell the girls what today was..... I was not sure how he would respond to be honest, but he looked up at them, smiled, and said, "I five!!". When they said Happy Birthday Reid, he responded with a most adorable, "Fanks!!" with again that little smirk on his face. 
If Reid had more words about him he would also say....

"I have the best big brother, EVER!"

"Daddy is my hero!"
"Follow your dreams, there isn't anything you can't accomplish if you put your mind and heart in it!"

"If you have the opportunity to sit out or dance.... DANCE!!"

"Tell someone that you love them.... To Infinity and Beyond!!"

"Laughter is good for the soul!"

"Rudolph isn't the only cute reindeer!"

"Mind your manners and don't forget to say, "Thank you... thank you very much" from time to time!"

"Hug close the ones you love!"

"If you want to hang out in only rain boots and underwear all day... so be it! Blaze your own trail!"

"Five is going to be my best year yet!"
**Top photo taken by Kelle Hampton for the Infantino/Step2 "Everybody plays" Campaign. All photos are property of this blog owner and may not be reproduced without permission.

"The Class List" ...What If A Child with Special Needs Is In Your Child's Class?....

This post is something that has been rattling around in my head for the last week....

For the last week I have been thinking about "The Class List...."
It is almost time for school to resume...all the back to school commercials are playing round the clock, new clothes and backpacks and folders are being bought...and the ever exciting day that the "class lists" will be posted up on the office windows are soon to arrive. I don't know about you but I LOVED that day...COULDN'T wait for that day. I'd roller skate up to the school to check out the lists and hope that at least one bestie was in the same class as me...then I'd dream of what the new school year would hold.
The class list held a lot of weight as to what kind of year it would be for a kid... Spot the school bully on your list? Well, you knew you'd have to watch your back.... Spot the booger picker? You made a mental note to sit on the far side of the room away from them... Spot the cute kid you'd had a secret crush on on the list? ...You went home to spiff up your wardrobe. Yes indeed, it held a lot of weight, that class list.
But, WHAT IF you were a parent standing there next to your child scanning the lists with them and you notice a name...and know it to be of a child with special needs. What would your initial thoughts be? ..I'm talking your true, honest, quiet thoughts in your head that you might not share out...

Would it be, "Good for them for "Fully Including" their child"?
Would it be, "I think this is good, my child will learn from this experience".
Would it be, "Oh yay, we love __insert child's name___!"

Or would it be......

"This is terrible, kids with special needs belong in special ed classes!"
"Having this child in class is going to rob my child of their education because the teacher is going to have to spend so much attention on them!"
"I'm going to complain, I don't want that kid in class with my kid!"

One if not all three of those last responses belong to an entire group of parents in the next county over from me. A few years ago there was a situation where a little girl with Down syndrome was going to be fully included into one of the kindergarten classes on campus. "Fully Included" means she would school the entire day in a "general education" class from beginning to end just like everyone else assigned to that class...whereas if someone were to be "Mainstreamed" that means that for part of their day they would mainstream into the general ed class setting say for art or science or some subject but the remainder of their day would be with a special ed class. At any rate....this little girl was going to be fully included into the kindergarten classroom... and she showed up on the "class list".
In response, the parents of the children who would also be in that classroom were upset....felt their child's education was going to be harmed and started a petition NOT to have her allowed in their child's class. This is seriously what happened, parent after parent signed their name to that petition... just down the road from me a hop and a skip and just a few years ago. The school got the petition, the school buckled under the pressure....and the parent had to fight for her to stay on that class list. Her parents had to take it to the district level, argue their case, and remind them that their daughter had a legal right to school in that class. Their point was made and the little girl was allowed to remain in that class.
As I type... I can just imagine that confrontation this family had to face with essentially their own "neighbors" in the neighborhood who were rejecting their child.... I would feel so kicked in the gut by my community. I am proud of the little girl's parents for holding their head high and fighting for what was right for their daughter. In the end, the family did not start her in that particular kindergarten...where her parents would need to stand shoulder to shoulder at drop off and pick up each day with all the parents who signed the petition not to allow their child in class... They fought their fight, made their point, and then enrolled their child at a different school where she was embraced. I can't say I blame them under the circumstance.
Grown adults can be cruel, we can be uninformed, we can hold onto harmful biases, we can be arrogant and seclusive and insensitive. ....and sometimes we don't even realize we are being this way.

For those of you thinking... maybe those "petition" parents were right...maybe she would of robbed the other kids of their education". My response would be.... "Where is the evidence of that?"...they never gave the little girl the chance to prove her abilities...she was shot down because of unfounded parental fears before she even got to start her first day of school. In many cases children who are Fully Included are given full time aides beginning in kindergarten, so had she needed extra assistance she would have had her aide. This little girl would not have robbed anyone's child of their education. The thing however that most certainly was robbed was for the opportunity for "their" children to learn about acceptance and compassion and differences in a very real way..lessons that cannot be taught from a text book the way loving and accepting a peer would.
What about the response... "Kids with special needs belong in special ed classes?" My response would be, "Not necessarily, depends on the child and the child's needs...". To say they should ONLY be in special ed classes would be putting a child in a box and dare I make the comparison would be like me telling you your tall, skinny kid belongs only on the basketball team. What if baseball was actually a better fit for him, far be it from me to deny him that....nor the room to allow him to grow in that sport. There are beautiful special education classes and there are beautiful general education classes with teachers who welcome working with a child with special needs. Each special needs child has different needs and believe me, parents think long and hard about the choices for their child's education..... and those decisions are best placed in the hands of the parents who know their child best and the team of specialists and school administrators who form his/her team....not insensitive petition signing parents, that's for sure.
Why do parents choose to Fully Include? ....Sometimes it is because they feel their child would benefit from the role models their "typically developing peers" would be for them, sometimes it is because they feel their child can learn right along with the other children (and they can), sometimes it is because they feel that the high expectations that would be held for that child would motivate them to reach beyond their limitations, sometimes it is because their typically developing peers would be hugely beneficial for them in regards to speech modeling or perhaps even social modeling.

So, we take that step for our child and hope that we are not met with parents who respond as the group I had mentioned above. And as we stand there shoulder to shoulder at pick up and drop off and we see parents smile lovingly at our child... or they comment about how glad they are that our child is in class with their child... or comment on how well they did something.... or reassure you when a naughty incident happens that all kids have naughty moments.... I cannot even begin to tell you how much those words mean, truly....... they. mean. so. much!
So IF a child with special needs does indeed end up on your child's class list and you have reservations about it.... please watch and see, you just may be surprised, your pre-conceived ideas just might change.... and the words of encouragement you might even find yourself sharing with the child's parent... will make you both feel great. And... if all those things just mentioned do occur, well then I hope your child ends up on MY child's "class list"!


** Disclaimer: Sometimes, we as parents feel that mainstreaming might be better for our child, or it might be better for our child to school solely in a special ed class..... all those options are beautiful options if and when it is the right fit for our child, and we'll know when it is. I don't want anyone to get the impression that I am saying we as special needs parents are failing if we choose not to "Fully Include", that is not what I am saying or how I feel at all.

A Verbal Throw Up Session

So, I went to have my hair cut and highlighted today....as a mom that is one of the most luxurious escapes. A few hours of pampering and reading gossip magazines and as luck would have it this salon was handing out mimosas today..."Why thank you I believe I will have one...and another..." and before you know it you are a little tipsy and you say "yes" to every "a la carte treatment" and your bill goes through the roof ;). Hmnnn, the alcohol was probably a pretty ingenious marketing scheme now that I think about it... oh well, made for a great day. Except....after 4 hours of being gone I came home and Luke's first words were, "You look exactly the same as when you left". Note to self: educate Luke on words to say to a woman when she comes home from a day at the salon. ;)

Okay...so why all this talk about the salon? Well, this was a new gal I went to today and so there is always the "get to know you" banter.... and when the question came up about whether I had children I conscientiously said I had 2 boys who are 9 and 4 and left it at that. Usually I verbally throw up and explain that Reid has Down syndrome and a conversation ensues about it. But, I conscientiously decided that I was not required to say it so I left it at that. But, you know what I found that I wasn't settled with that... I wanted to share it and later in the conversation it did come up and she did ask questions and somehow that felt better. I don't know why that is... is it that I am just a chronic "verbal throw up-er" or is it that I wanted her to know because she was young and not married and I remember being oblivious to anything other than my "fairytale" life dreams at her age and I liked the idea of her having exposure to knowing someone who has a child with special needs because who knows what is in her future or her friends futures, it is likely one of them will have a child with special needs and I like the idea of her having some point of reference of someone who is in that place and they are not shattered...but madly in love with their children and their life.

I remember when Reid was born I thought about a woman who had children at the preschool I had worked at in college, nearly 20 years prior. Her youngest who was probably only about 9 months at that time had Down syndrome. I never talked to her, her kids were in a different class but I remember watching her... I watched her love on that little guy and she seemed so peaceful. Not sure why she stuck out to me at that time but she did. I remember seeing her at the grocery store once too, just she and that little guy in the cart with his little almond shaped eyes. I remember thinking about how put together she was and I admired the quiet strength I guess I saw in her....she had no idea who I was and would have absolutely no way of knowing that on the day my son was born I had images in my mind of her and drew strength from what I saw in her.

So there it was today...a gal, a mimosa, a little trim, a few bright highlights....and a verbal barf session. Sounds about right to start a long weekend with! ;)

...and as for the children I'm madly in love with.... here ya have it.

We are still alive... I promise ;)

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Where does the time go? We are still alive...posting pictures to prove it! ;)
So many things to post about but not enough energy at the end of the day...
but quick highlights from our home:
Reid turned 4 end of December and I swear it is as if he woke up the morning of his birthday and decided....to....talk!! Lots of rambles but with many hand gestures and at least 2 to 4 words you can make out...he is trying so hard to tell stories and he is hysterical. Very exciting stuff.
My childhood friend's husband flew me up to Seattle to surprise her for her 40th birthday... there will be a post just on this because 1) it was deliciously fun to surprise the heck out of her AND to have a girls weekend away with no responsibilities 2) I want to share with you about the present I had made for her out of her daughter's baby clothes she had forgotten she had given me "in case" we ever had a girl... posting a picture as a teaser but in the mean time DON'T GIVE YOUR BABY CLOTHES AWAY... ;) wait until I tell you about the blankets you can have made with them.

Luke played a duet and solo in a guitar recital with his buddy ....he was also invited onto an all-star soccer team this winter to play as their goalie...he loved it!
Reid decided to "chuck" his glasses out the car window while driving down the road...but never fear "Dad" came to the rescue and found each lens and mangled frames in the road while dodging cars...they are now our "back up pair" ...Note to Self: engage the kid lock on the back windows!
Most recently, I was asked to be C0-Chair for the first ever Southern California Best Buddies 5K Walk which will happen on May 7th....much more to come on this as well. Check out their website...they are nationally and internationally represented. Such an awesome organization!
....and here are a few photos of my "newly 4 year old" and my "guitar-slash-soccer-slash-baseball season starting guy"
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Breakfast Date with Blogging Friends

Two years ago I started this blog as a result of being inspired by Down syndrome blogs I found on the Gifts website. Every spare moment I had I would hop back onto that site to see if anyone had posted anything new and I began to develop favorites and then quite quickly actually started to become attached to kiddos... and their moms... and their families who share this extra chromosome...two of those blogs I found at that time were Three's a Charm and Finnian's Journey......and as my fabulous fortune would have it I got to meet the moms behind these amazing blogs this morning. We met for breakfast at Downtown Disney and honestly it was like sitting with old dear friends!

The kids seemed rather fond of each other too and were so well behaved... just look at these cutie pie guys!

Joaquin is so sweet! Both he and Reid were a little frightened by the animal sounds at Rainforest Cafe...which meant they both snuggled in to their mommas which meant no squiggles and wiggles, it was perfect....maybe I should always restaurant where there are sudden rants of jungle animal sounds and flickering lights! ...worked like a charm!! ;)

Oh little Sofia....I could go on and on about this squishable, huggable, loveable, adorable little love bug! Seriously....she was so huggable. She went right to me and even though she has these darling little pudge rolls she is still just so little-little. I had to hold her out front of me, legs dangling for a minute, just to drink her in...all smiles and waves she is!! If you are not familiar with Sofia's adoption story you can read that here...

And then little Finn....Reid has decided they are going to be good buddies, he was stuck like glue to Finn and kept patting his leg and getting close to him, even hugging him, pictured below, when Finn was trying to crawl around.

As Finn was crawling around the other two boys decided that looked like fun which resulted in them all crawling!

And these next pictures make me smile...as we all know it is hard enough to get one child to smile and cooperate with the picture taking but to get 4 kiddos was, well...comical especially when we had 3 different cameras going! Jennifer and Lisa I hope you don't mind me posting these but I love these pictures below because it is such a snapshot of this precious chapter of parenting...illustrated by kids slipping off of hips, pointing to the camera so our wee one will look, hair out of place and giggles because try as we might it just wasn't going to work to get the perfect shot ;)

I love that Reid and Finn are having their own little side conversation here!

...and then there is this shot that I am going to lovingly call "Charlie's Angels" except that one of the angels decided to look at the wrong camera! I laughed out loud when I first saw this one! ;)

Jennifer and Lisa....so glad it worked out today for us to finally meet...and Hector thank you for indulging us and giving us a few hours of your vacation, so good to meet you as well!!

A 3 Pound Science Experiment

This summer Luke and I have been trying to do a science experiment a week but the most noteworthy science experiment by far has been his first which took 2 weeks in the making....

.....and it is the one I am most proud of him for!
At the beginning of summer Luke came to me complaining that he hated his little tummy...he has made comments before about it and it honestly breaks my heart that he even thinks about weight at such a young age (9 years old tomorrow..the 26th). He has always been a "sturdy" boy even as a little little guy...that's just his build. However, people have made comments about his size before in front of him...not meaning to be hurtful but I am afraid he is internalizing some of these words. Poor little guy even tried to stick up for one of his friends once at school who was being called "weirdo" and the bullies turned on him and said, "Be quiet fatty".....ooooh not a good night in the Foreman household as this mom was ready to knock some little kids block off!! ;)
So, as he shared with me earlier this summer his concerns again... we had ourselves a good little heart to heart and I shared with him that losing weight is actually just math and science (his 2 favorite subjects) and that it can actually be fun...add this, eliminate that, and over time you get results. He seemed intrigued by the concept. So, I proposed a 2 week "science experiment" of eliminating desserts and soda from our diets and seeing what results we would get after 2 weeks. He responded as I had hoped and told me, "Mom, that's a challenge I'm up for"....
I have to say Luke was so faithful and so determined...even reminding Toby at an Angel's game they went to that he did not want any soda while they were there! I also have to say the two weeks also coincided with many intense 2 hour baseball practices for All Stars which I am sure helped produce the results he got......but drumroll please.....after weighing himself on the Wii Fit both before and after the 2 weeks he lost nearly 3 pounds. He grinned from ear to ear when he saw it on the screen.
THAT....I must say was one very successful science experiment!!
And it was also a good life lesson about food in general, that eating is okay (he is definitely a 3 square meal kind of kid) but eliminating the "bad kind of foods" is important.
So presents my next topic.... Chef Luke and his Little Helper....
Just because one is not eating desserts or consuming soda doesn't mean one must starve. As part of our Camp Intentional plans Luke has been making dinner once a week. I give him a cookbook to look through and he decides what's on the menu for the night.... the pictures below were from the following menu...all chosen and cooked by Chef Luke.
The MenuCowboy Tri-tipSour cream mashed potatoesCorn on the cobFruit kabobs

This is what Luke called his "Mango Tango" drink creation...adding a little of this and a little of that to create a yummy drink which he insisted be served in champagne glasses ;)

As for little Reid...well....let's just say he didn't mind the dinner but preferred the placemat, sorry Luke! ;)

No matter what these two are doing or where they are they always end up snuggled together!

As we sat down for dinner Luke pointed out the time on our outdoor clock...7:15... remarking..."Geez, cooking takes a looooong time (He started at 5:00)...and I say Amen to that, now he has a little insight into moms day!!! ;)

That's what I call a yummy success!!